Weekend Funnies

5 comments
Story Text:

Why do dwarfs smile when they are running through a field?

Because the grass tickles their balls!

Feel free to add your own joke.

Comments

We had that same joke...

...about one of our past football heroes. He was quite short but very good. Simon Tahamata. Boy, you couldn't knock the grin off his face. Football pitches had very tall grass back then.

Sorry can't think of a *new* joke right away LOL

A long one

A family is eating dinner at the table and the father asks his son what he learned at school today. The boy says we learned about the the government interacts with the business and the society, but I didn't really understand it. After thinking for a minute the father says "well I'm lets pretend I'm big business I go out and work every day produce goods and services and sell them to the people. Our housekeeper is the working class doing the work for business. Your mother is the government she makes sure big business and the people are working together and guides us in the right direction. You little baby sister represents the next generation and the future". The son thinks about what his father said the rest of the night.

Late at night the son is in his bed still thinking about what his father said when he hears his little baby sister crying. He gets up and walks into her room and smells she needs to be changed. He goes into his parents bedroom and tries to wake up his mom, but she's in a deep sleep and won't wake up. He goes to find his Dad when he hears noises downstairs, he goes down and finds his father in bed with the housekeeper ... and he just goes back to bed.

The next morning at breakfast the father asks his son if his explanation helped, the son replies "You know what Dad at first I didn't get but then it all made sense. While big business is f*cking over the working class, the government is asleep at the wheel, and the next generation is full of sh*t and crying about it ..."

mushrooms

I like the quote from a military guy about politicians. He said something like "I treat politicians like mushrooms. Feed 'em a lot of shit and keep 'em in the dark and they'll be just fine".

...

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Redneck Love Poem

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know,
But Joe is your half brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will,
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, there's trouble still.

You can't marry Will, my gal,
And please don't tell yo' Mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother.

But Ma knew and said, my child,
Just do what makes yo' happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe.
You ain't no kin to Pappy.

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